"ThesE DayS" & OtheR AwesomE SongS!

I don't have much time to write this post. Surprise, surprise! About a month has gone by since I last wrote and I thought now was as good a time as any to give a little update. A LOT has happened since the last time I blogged! I'll give you the Cliff Notes version: I was offered a job at another school in Utah, which seemed AWESOME and AMAZING, yet I turned it down because I learned that jobs in my hometown in good old Pennsylvania were opening up for next year. I was so excited to think of the prospects awaiting me. I'm feeling unsure about what exactly I want in my life, but I think that keeping my options open is important. I think that there are a lot of reasons why teaching at Hempfield would be beneficial. The pay and benefits are better. The teacher's union is way stronger. The education is more advanced. I would love to work the same amount and be paid more for the long hours I put in each week. I will be submitting my resume very soon and could potentially interview over spring break, which makes me BEYOND nervous, but we shall see what the future holds. A huge reason for wanting to go back to PA is that so many members of my family are settling down in the east. I would like to be a part of my sibling's lives and I would enjoy being a better aunt in the lives of my niece and nephews. I'll go where the Lord wants me to be.

These days, I am just trying to survive life. I feel that in the past two years, life has been CRAZY! I have lost my identity and have really struggled. All of my hard work has been exerted in an effort to ensure next year will be easier. As the leader of my team, I have felt a lot of stress as I've tried to teach brand new teachers and ensure all my team members are on the same page. I am finishing my ESL endorsement this year. And I'm doing a math endorsement. I have felt very overwhelmed to say the least. Amidst all of this chaos, I find myself thinking of songs or listening to songs that bring comfort to this little soul of mine even when it feels like it's about to shrivel up, at times. I don't get to listen to music very much during the day, which NEEDS to change, but whenever I do get to listen, a part of me is whole again (as cheesy as that may sound). Did I mention that I am going to see my FAVORITE SINGER OF ALL TIME when I go back to PA for spring break?!?! Stevie Wonder is my idol and seeing him sing live is most definitely on my bucket list! I can hardly wait to see the king of music belt it out like a BOSS!

I have a variety of songs I've been enjoying or thinking about the past few months! Take a listen! They're like Jerry McGuire, they will "complete you" when you behold their greatness! :)

"Skyline" by Melissa Polinar (btw, she is definitely a NEW fav. I discovered Dec. '13)

 

"These Days" by Michael Castro (this makes me think of summer)

 

"Dreamlover " by Mariah Carey (her songs nail happiness & contentment)

"Broken Cloud" by Melissa Polinar

In honor of Stevie's upcoming performance, "Overjoyed" by Stevie Wonder (live version from 1983)

I've said it before, but I feel so unsure and uncertain about life at this point in time. I thought that the older "adult' years were supposed to be great because you feel like you know what you're doing in them, but I have never felt so lost and alone as I do now. I find myself longing for a past that is never coming back; missing out on the present due to school dominating my life; and dreading my future because I worry that I will not have made the most of my life and live to regret missing out. I hope that some clarity will be spread its way into this foggy, misty existence known as my life. Until that time comes, I'll keep trudging along and I will most definitely continue to play music through the journey. It is my hope that someday, I will feel "overjoyed" because the dreams I have for my life and myself will have come true.