Today, I received an email from a parent about how their child has
recently been enrolled in my class for this upcoming school year and she
has asked to meet and discuss the issues/problems he may have in school
with me, in the near future. When I first read the email, I panicked a
little bit simply because of the experiences I had last year with a
child, whom I did everything I could for, yet, still wondered if I had
impacted. His home life was a huge reason, if not the
whole reason, he was acting up in my class. His was a demeanor of defiance I have
never
seen before in 1st grade. His was a clever, sneaky approach to
deliberately going against any instructions I had given him or the class
to do; he craved that attention. It didn't matter if I was extremely
positive or strict with him- he seemed unreachable. It got to the point
where this student was going to have a 504 aide with him at all times
during the school day because his behavior was so out of control. I
dealt with this trial for most of the year and then, in the end of
January, was free of it when he moved away, leaving me to always wonder
about him.
Where did he end up? Is he loved? Is he happy? Is his
behavior better now that he lives with a different family? Is his
teacher dealing with the same issues I dealt with? These were all
questions that ran through my mind last year. My countless efforts to
love this child and help to get him on the right track often showed
little to no signs of improvement in him, which is a huge contributor to
why I get a little nervous when I hear of other behavior issues coming
into my class this upcoming school year. I did
everything I
could for that little guy and when I saw that wasn't enough, I
struggled and unfortunately took it personally. I was hard on myself and
wondered if there was anything else I could have done.
I
called my mom as soon as I saw this email, as she knows far better than
anyone else, what I went through last school year. She knows how much I
loved the student who struggled in my class. She listened to phone call
after phone call about how things were going, when I, at times, was on
the verge of tears (or was emotional). I truly loved that child so much
and wished that God could have allowed him to be born into a different
life filled with different circumstances. As a teacher, it is the
hardest thing in the world to see children come into this world with so
many odds stacked against them. I know I was meant to cross paths with
this particular student, as I was for all of the students in my
classroom. God has entrusted me with his precious angels, to love them
and care for them. He knows I will do my absolute best to love them as
He would and help them to enjoy their lives in school and beyond.
As
I talked with my mother, I was reminded by her of my capabilities as a
teacher, to reach kids. I have the power to love them, instill
confidence in them, and help them to feel safe and validated in my
classroom. I set the tone in my room and teach children, through my
example, how to love their peers. I was telling my mom that even in Jump
Start (my school's summer school class), I have been reminded of the
great joy that comes from interacting with God's precious children. I am
the type of teacher who loves to incorporate humor into my classroom...
and
a lot of it, at that. I find that when kids are laughing or
seeing you make a fool of yourself, they are 1) more engaged, and 2)
more comfortable in your environment. In Jump Start, I have had my
students in hysterics as I have goofed off with them when they practice
writing their high frequency words in the air on my back. It doesn't
take much to make them crack up, but that doesn't take away from the
happiness I feel when I see how content they are and feel of their love.
I think I need to take a mental snapshot of those moments more often,
to use when I need to be sustained during times of trial and stress.
Yes, I'm most definitely miming taking a picture at this very moment
(with sound effects included, of course)! #lifesnapshots
The
conversation I had with my mom reminded me of something I read recently
with regards to teaching. It was one of the most powerful things I
think I've ever laid my eyes on before, as it eloquently sums up the way
I feel about my job. The blog entry was written by Kylene Beers and was
called, "Why I Hated Meredith's First Grade Teacher." You can read it
here.
I, like you probably are, was intrigued by the title; it sounds like
the post has the potential to be negative about teachers. Yet, that is
not the case at all. Kylene Beers relays the story of the powerful
impact her daughter's first grade teacher had on her child. Her child
wanted to be just like her teacher. This teacher caused her daughter to
look forward to going to school each day. To this day, Kylene's daughter
still remembers her first grade teacher and looks back on that year
with fondness. And that is where the title of the post comes in- she
says, "To this day, Meredith remembers you, Ms. Miner, and to this day, I
so
hated how much she loved you that year. And, simultaneously, I'm so grateful that she did."
There
is a part of Kylene's post that struck me more poignantly than any
other portion, which I'd like to include in this post. She summed up
what I feel my mission in life is where teaching is concerned:
"Though
I had been a teacher for years before having Meredith, before sending
her off to first grade, I had never truly understood the power of a
teacher in a child's life. We give our most precious and priceless to
you -- dear teachers -- each year, knowing you will teach them, but also
hoping you will care for them, help them discover how very much they
matter, watching over them, and being there when they have been hurt by
the ones who won't let them sit at the "popular" table -- and then you
do just that and they fall in love with you. It shows up in different
ways, as they grow older. But it's still there, this deep affection and
respect. And, certainly, it's harder to forge those bonds when there are
150 students instead of 22, when the day is fragmented into 45 minute
segments, when education seems to be more about the test than the child.
But I promise, underneath that bravado of the seventh grader or
the swagger of the tenth grader you will find that small first grader
who wonders, "Will my teacher like me?" And when that child -- that teen
-- knows that you believe he or she matters, then that student will do
most anything for you."
It's
people like Kylene Beers that help to "open your eyes" and remind you
of the legacy you can leave simply by being a loving teacher, who values
her students. When times get rough or school makes me feel like my
head's about to explode (let's be honest- that most definitely happens),
I will return to this post and will reread Kylene's article to refocus
myself on what really matters; on what has always mattered: loving God's children.
Today,
I am posting, "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston, one of the
greatest singers of ALL time. Did you see what I just did there? ;-)
This song is so beautiful both lyrically and vocally.
Truly,
I hope to never reach a place in my teaching or life in general, where I
forget to "...let the children's laughter remind [me] how [I] used to
be," for their laughter brings me joy and reminds me of the sweet
innocence of childhood. When my students are laughing and we share the
bond of friendship with one another in my classroom, I feel the love of
Heavenly Father radiating amongst us. I beg to differ with Whitney
slightly, for in the song, she sings, "I found the greatest love of all
inside of me." I would argue that I have found "the greatest love of all" inside of my classroom.
I am sincerely thankful to have the job I do; I have the privilege to
interact with warmhearted, little children, who, upon knowing that I
love them and care for them, would do anything for me. They would give
me the world if I asked them for it.
How did I get so lucky?!?!
