"If You Just Smile": DeaR YoU...

Dear You,
I've been waiting for you for quite some time now, wondering when we'll meet and experience the joys of life together. I've been wishing we could meet, if only in my dreams, but reality would be even better. I wonder what you look like; how you handle adversity and trials. Do you laugh like I do, even when stress could cause you to cry? I hope you do not take life too seriously; that you take moments to smile and soak in the joys life has placed in your path. I pray for you. I pray that you are living your life well, preparing to one day, be a husband to me and a father to our future children. I love you already...

Here are the qualities I hope you'll possess, which qualities I feel will make our relationship a strong, loving one, centered around the most important thing in life, God, our Heavenly Father. The things I'm asking of you, I am completely committed to doing, myself:

Treat me as your equal partner: I hope you will make decisions with me. I hope you will value the insight and intelligence I have to offer in our relationship. I wish to be on a level playing field with you, where our children can recognize you valuing me and what I contribute to our family.
Respect me: I hope you will set a very clear and poignant example for our sons and daughters to recognize how a spouse should be treated. Please do not argue with me in front of our children. Please do not treat me as an object, whose sole mission in life is to please you. Please do not say things to hurt me or cut deep down to the core; aimed at bringing out my insecurities. Instead, tell me I look beautiful just because. Tell me I'm funny. Tell me you don't know how you ever got so lucky as to have me in your life. Tell me life has new meaning with me, that you could never imagine a life without me. These acts of chivalry and kindness will not go unnoticed by others, especially our future children. They will pick up on them and without fully realizing it, will emulate what they see from you and me in their future relationships.
Make me feel special: This goes along with the desire for you to respect me (mentioned above), but it goes without saying. Please help me to feel like the sun rises and sets with me. Help me to see the greatness that lies inside of me. Come home early to spend time with me and our kids. Treat me to a spa day or a new outfit. Compliment my new hairstyle. Look at me like you would look at a brand new car. Bring me flowers. Take me out for ice cream. Make me laugh. Look into my eyes and see me, the girl your heart belongs to forever. Let me hold onto your arm during scary movies or haunted house adventures. Swear at people when they're cutting me off on the road and I look like I'm going to honk on the horn, but don't. Sing to me/with me. Kiss me on the swings. Actions speak louder than words. You can tell me you love me until you're blue in the face, but it is the way you treat me and the things you do to show me I am a top priority in your life that bring a genuine sincerity to your words. Honestly, I'd be perfectly content sitting with you and just "being" because all of the things listed above illustrate the desire I have to simply see that you care about me.
Love our children: Please be present in their lives. Come home from work. Put your work away and show them they are a priority. Make time for them. Bond with them, particularly in moments when they are sick or in need of help. These situations create an unshakeable bond with children. In their most dependent states, you show them you care by doing what they cannot. Tell our daughters they are beautiful and loved. Tell them they have bright futures ahead and that they will make amazing contributions to this world using their intelligence and talents. Raise our sons to love people; to work hard to one day, provide for a future spouse and family. Teach them to truly love a woman and not lust after her. There is a big difference. Teach them to look at women the way our Heavenly Father does, as great, noble daughters of a King. They are His princesses and should be treated as such. Help our children to know that they are smart; do not tease them or demean their intelligence to bring gain to yourself. Instead, build them up and aid them in seeing their full, limitless potential.
Make me laugh: This world is already so serious and full of problems/issues. There are enough negative stories and sad, depressing things out there. Instead of blending in with that kind of morose picture, please stand out. Be the sunshine in the storm. Be strong for all of us. Take the world upon your shoulders and shelter us from the harshness of life. I will be right there next to you, buoying you up and aiding you in this venture. Joke with me. Be silly. Be witty. Dance around like a goof ball. Talk in crazy accents. Make me laugh until tears stream out of my eyes. Happy wife = happy life, right?! Seriously though, if you can make me laugh, you've got my heart forever. If you can remind me that everything's going to be alright simply by saying something funny or making me giggle, you will have succeeded. Laughter refuels the soul.
Dance with me: I don't care if the music "moves you ugly." I just care that you're trying to move with me through life's crazy adventures. Dance like a crazy person and odds are, I'll be doing it crazier next to you. Twirl me around. Dip me when I least expect it. Hold me close and never let go. Dance with me like it's the first time, every time.
Love others: Spend your life exhausting every effort imaginable to make other people happy/have a more fulfilling life. Lend a hand to anyone in need. Do not do it for gain or notoriety. Likewise, do not do it with an expectation for something in return. Instead, do it because you love the Lord and you see great value in aiding His beloved sons and daughters. Give money to people who need it more than you. Show the Lord that you would give anything you have to serve Him. Make people feel brighter, happier people as a result of being in your presence.
Be strong: I need to know that you will be able to handle whatever trials God sees fit to place in our path. Will you cave under pressure and shrink under a rock, hoping that doing that will make "it all go away?" Or will you face what has been handed to you head-on, accepting the situation, and making the best of it? We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. Never forget that. I pray that in the moments that even I, start to question, or wonder if we can get through a trial, that you will remind me through your strength and stalwart attitude, that it will be okay. God will not forget us. He will do a work by and through us, which even we cannot fully fathom.
Be dependable: When you say you're going to do something, do it. "You're only as good as your word." Please show me and our children that your word is worth living up to. Make goals and stick to them, even when they are hard.
Be humble: No matter what success, notoriety, or fame you experience in life, always remember to possess humility. Recognize that your blessings are not a result of your own doing; that they come from a Higher Being. Don't let your looks or your intelligence get to your head, thinking that you are better than anyone. Cling to the work ethic you possessed to get to where you are and never lose sight of the people who helped you to get there. Always be humble and kind.
Be self-sufficient: Please cook, clean, and manage the household duties with me. This goes back to treating me as your equal. I am your partner and would love to do these things with you, as doing them together will create a unity and bond that is rooted in love and compassion. Show our children that a man belongs in the kitchen too. Show them that you know how to clean a toilet or do laundry. Help them to be self-sufficient so that they do not rely on their future spouses too heavily or expect them to do for them what they should be able to do for themselves.
Take pride in who you are: Please take good care of yourself. This includes your physical appearance, but extends much further than that. Please believe in yourself and your potential so much that it shows in the way you take on the world. Try to look your best and feel your very best so that you can contribute your very best in this world. Be passionate- you will feel so much more apt to be this way if you make your self-worth a priority.
Be adventurous: Try new things often and take me along for that ride of spontaneity! Please try to avoid getting stuck in ruts and feeling like we have to do the "same old, same old" in life. Teach me how to do something new (and be patient with me in the process). Try to acquire new hobbies/cultivate new talents. Sweep me off my feet by adding the element of surprise to things we do. Order something different at a restaurant. Take me to a place we've never gone before. Wear mismatched socks for crying out loud! Nothing screams adventure quite as much as that! ;-)
Give me opportunities to better myself: Please let me be more than just a housewife, mother, teacher, etc. Let me develop my own talents/hobbies. Allow me to hang out with girlfriends and to recharge my battery by being in their company. Let me have an identity outside of us. Trust me to make great decisions and to make choices in my life that will make us both better, in the long run.
Quote movies/shows often and recognize songs: What would a marriage be without great movie/show quotes and amazing music to accompany it?!?! Witty banter with movie quotes and songs is a must and I pray you'll be able to keep up with me and my family in this arena. Quote movies at the perfect moments and throw in a 70s or 80s song at opportune times. Me without movies= dull and lifeless... not pretty! Movies, shows, and songs are basically my identity so hop on the boat and start sailing because they'll become yours too.
Fall in love with me everyday: Talk to me. My love language is words of affirmation. I desire to know how my being me affects your being you. Help me to see my strengths/beautiful attributes, particularly when I struggle to see them in myself. Build my confidence. Stay faithful to me and love me, when my body changes in appearance during pregnancy and when my body looks top-notch after working out/trying to get it back to pre-baby days. Love me and my imperfections. Love my spirit. At the end of our life, it won't be our looks that bind us together. It will be our love, our life's adventures, and our treatment of each other that will. Always be kind and complimentary. You never know how much your compliments could change my whole being. Make me want to be a better person for you everyday. Love the Lord, then love me. If you love Him more than anything else, your love for me will take root and build the strongest of foundations for our family and future posterity. Each day, remind yourself one reason you married me/why you're glad you did. Make everyday the "best day" of our lives.

I hope you're out there, staying strong for the both of us. Meeting you will be the best thing that ever happens to my life. Until that day arrives, I'll keep striving to possess the qualities I asked of you. You are worth it.

So Matthew, when you come into my life, we'll both know I fit your criteria and you fit mine and the wait will most definitely, have been worth it! ;-)