"ThE GreatesT LovE of ALL" (8/7/14)

Today, I received an email from a parent about how their child has recently been enrolled in my class for this upcoming school year and she has asked to meet and discuss the issues/problems he may have in school with me, in the near future. When I first read the email, I panicked a little bit simply because of the experiences I had last year with a child, whom I did everything I could for, yet, still wondered if I had impacted. His home life was a huge reason, if not the whole reason, he was acting up in my class. His was a demeanor of defiance I have never seen before in 1st grade. His was a clever, sneaky approach to deliberately going against any instructions I had given him or the class to do; he craved that attention. It didn't matter if I was extremely positive or strict with him- he seemed unreachable. It got to the point where this student was going to have a 504 aide with him at all times during the school day because his behavior was so out of control. I dealt with this trial for most of the year and then, in the end of January, was free of it when he moved away, leaving me to always wonder about him. Where did he end up? Is he loved? Is he happy? Is his behavior better now that he lives with a different family? Is his teacher dealing with the same issues I dealt with? These were all questions that ran through my mind last year. My countless efforts to love this child and help to get him on the right track often showed little to no signs of improvement in him, which is a huge contributor to why I get a little nervous when I hear of other behavior issues coming into my class this upcoming school year. I did everything I could for that little guy and when I saw that wasn't enough, I struggled and unfortunately took it personally. I was hard on myself and wondered if there was anything else I could have done.

I called my mom as soon as I saw this email, as she knows far better than anyone else, what I went through last school year. She knows how much I loved the student who struggled in my class. She listened to phone call after phone call about how things were going, when I, at times, was on the verge of tears (or was emotional). I truly loved that child so much and wished that God could have allowed him to be born into a different life filled with different circumstances. As a teacher, it is the hardest thing in the world to see children come into this world with so many odds stacked against them. I know I was meant to cross paths with this particular student, as I was for all of the students in my classroom. God has entrusted me with his precious angels, to love them and care for them. He knows I will do my absolute best to love them as He would and help them to enjoy their lives in school and beyond.

As I talked with my mother, I was reminded by her of my capabilities as a teacher, to reach kids. I have the power to love them, instill confidence in them, and help them to feel safe and validated in my classroom. I set the tone in my room and teach children, through my example, how to love their peers. I was telling my mom that even in Jump Start (my school's summer school class), I have been reminded of the great joy that comes from interacting with God's precious children. I am the type of teacher who loves to incorporate humor into my classroom... and a lot of it, at that. I find that when kids are laughing or seeing you make a fool of yourself, they are 1) more engaged, and 2) more comfortable in your environment. In Jump Start, I have had my students in hysterics as I have goofed off with them when they practice writing their high frequency words in the air on my back. It doesn't take much to make them crack up, but that doesn't take away from the happiness I feel when I see how content they are and feel of their love. I think I need to take a mental snapshot of those moments more often, to use when I need to be sustained during times of trial and stress. Yes, I'm most definitely miming taking a picture at this very moment (with sound effects included, of course)! #lifesnapshots

The conversation I had with my mom reminded me of something I read recently with regards to teaching. It was one of the most powerful things I think I've ever laid my eyes on before, as it eloquently sums up the way I feel about my job. The blog entry was written by Kylene Beers and was called, "Why I Hated Meredith's First Grade Teacher." You can read it here. I, like you probably are, was intrigued by the title; it sounds like the post has the potential to be negative about teachers. Yet, that is not the case at all. Kylene Beers relays the story of the powerful impact her daughter's first grade teacher had on her child. Her child wanted to be just like her teacher. This teacher caused her daughter to look forward to going to school each day. To this day, Kylene's daughter still remembers her first grade teacher and looks back on that year with fondness. And that is where the title of the post comes in- she says, "To this day, Meredith remembers you, Ms. Miner, and to this day, I so hated how much she loved you that year. And, simultaneously, I'm so grateful that she did."

There is a part of Kylene's post that struck me more poignantly than any other portion, which I'd like to include in this post. She summed up what I feel my mission in life is where teaching is concerned:

"Though I had been a teacher for years before having Meredith, before sending her off to first grade, I had never truly understood the power of a teacher in a child's life. We give our most precious and priceless to you -- dear teachers -- each year, knowing you will teach them, but also hoping you will care for them, help them discover how very much they matter, watching over them, and being there when they have been hurt by the ones who won't let them sit at the "popular" table -- and then you do just that and they fall in love with you. It shows up in different ways, as they grow older. But it's still there, this deep affection and respect. And, certainly, it's harder to forge those bonds when there are 150 students instead of 22, when the day is fragmented into 45 minute segments, when education seems to be more about the test than the child. But I promise, underneath that bravado of the seventh grader or the swagger of the tenth grader you will find that small first grader who wonders, "Will my teacher like me?" And when that child -- that teen -- knows that you believe he or she matters, then that student will do most anything for you."

It's people like Kylene Beers that help to "open your eyes" and remind you of the legacy you can leave simply by being a loving teacher, who values her students. When times get rough or school makes me feel like my head's about to explode (let's be honest- that most definitely happens), I will return to this post and will reread Kylene's article to refocus myself on what really matters; on what has always mattered: loving God's children.

Today, I am posting, "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston, one of the greatest singers of ALL time. Did you see what I just did there? ;-) This song is so beautiful both lyrically and vocally.

Truly, I hope to never reach a place in my teaching or life in general, where I forget to "...let the children's laughter remind [me] how [I] used to be," for their laughter brings me joy and reminds me of the sweet innocence of childhood. When my students are laughing and we share the bond of friendship with one another in my classroom, I feel the love of Heavenly Father radiating amongst us. I beg to differ with Whitney slightly, for in the song, she sings, "I found the greatest love of all inside of me." I would argue that I have found "the greatest love of all" inside of my classroom. I am sincerely thankful to have the job I do; I have the privilege to interact with warmhearted, little children, who, upon knowing that I love them and care for them, would do anything for me. They would give me the world if I asked them for it.

How did I get so lucky?!?!