"HerE I Go AgaiN" (8/2/14)

This week has been draining to say the least. I just completed my first week of Jump Start and I've had a lot of meetings and things going on. I have really struggled to get back into school mode. It just seems to be taking me a little longer than I thought it would to feel ready for the stress to infiltrate into my life once again. Next week, I will have to finish setting up my classroom and truthfully, I won't have the whole week to do so due to meetings and trainings taking place. I will hope for the best and make it work! I heard a song I love on the radio today called "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake. This song is awesome and I love it more now, as a result of the point I am at in my life. Its message is all about independently going forward in your life even when events around you seem discouraging; even when you fail, or struggle to cling to dreams that seem unattainable.

I relate to this song in that I have felt very much like I am on my own in my life now. I haven't just felt this way; I am literally living on my own at the moment. I have desired for quite some time now, to find a companion in life to share it with. The second verse of Whitesnake's song sums it up perfectly: "I'm just another heart in need of rescue, waiting on love's sweet charity. An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days, 'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams." I am at a point in my life where I'm "...waiting on love's sweet charity," but like Whitesnake sings in the chorus, "I ain't wasting no more time;" I'm not about to throw in the towel. A large part of me does want to do that, yet there is still that inner me that believes in the "fairy tale;" there is a part of me that can't give up. Someday, someone special will rescue from me from my tower of loneliness. He'll be everything I ever dreamed of and he'll make me forget I was ever going through this life alone. A girl can dream, right?

This past school year, I felt very tired, fatigued, stressed, unsure, unmotivated, etc. and that feeling did not go away this summer simply because I was out of school for a few months. I was able to clear my mind of school for a little while, which was refreshing, yet doing so showed me just how much school had taken over my life. I had let it control me. Going forward, my plan is to take life by the reigns and show it who's boss! I have made very simple goals for myself for this upcoming school year, which I hope will help me to maintain a much-needed balance in my life. I plan to persist when times get rough and rejoice when I achieve my dreams one goal at a time. Though I may feel like I'm "in it alone" or even literally live on my own, I have hope in the future. I know that I can do anything I set my mind to and it's important to me to show myself that I can achieve my goals.

"Here I go again on my own," but as Augustus so optimistically stated in "The Fault in Our Stars," "I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend[s]."